Chuckle Bats

For reasons I'd rather not expound upon, I found myself--at about 9:30 in the evening--in an undecorous state of panic. Things undone during the daylight hours were beginning to loom large on my to-do list, and I had mere minutes before total nighttime shutdown. (You may not know this, but no later than 10 o'clock every evening, life's incidental tasks cease to make sense to me. I become an utter buffoon.) So, without so much as a hint of feminine calm, I began barreling from room to room whooping day-end orders at my two children: "Brush your floss! Wash your teeth! Saran Wrap is good for broccoli! Homework? Answer me, for sooth!!"

My children, meanwhile, had settled into audience mode. They were watching me with the curiousity/pity hybrid they typically reserve for tantrumming toddlers and substitute teachers. And then they began to laugh. Apparently, my disintegration had become more than a little amusing. Being a relatively capable parent, I paused mid-bellow and considered how best to respond to my children's blatant nonchalance. Here's what I came up with:

"Okay! Hardy har har, you . . . chuckle bats!" I said this with as much vim and volume as I could muster.

And then I heard what I'd just uttered and my sensible morning self broke through my late-night crazy person. "Chuckle bats?" I repeated.

"What's a chuckle bat?" Scout snickered.

I had no answer for Scout just then, but I think it's fairly safe to say that Chuckle Bats are beastly nocturnal critters with semi-sane diurnal mothers. They may or may not be distantly related to bears who shed their skins--but we'll save that story for another day.